Friday, December 30, 2011

Thoughts on life

In a way, it's strange that people even read this blog, I am not always sure why I keep it up. My Dad used to ask me to update it all the time, but now he is gone and I don't think about it much. My friend Nancy and I had some time today to sit down and talk about some books we have been reading and it all got me thinking: my life is not always easy, but I have it pretty good here in Lawrenceville, Georgia and I have very little to complain about. I truly believe in God answering my prayers in many different ways: through words coming out of friends' mouths, through songs I hear, through birds tapping on my window, etc. God has been so good to even CARE about me, taking the time and effort to remind me of who is in charge and who gives me all these wonderful things in life.

When I entered 4th grade, I went to a Catholic school for the first time in my life and my 4th grade teacher, Sister Germaine (a large woman with an enormous backside who was nicknamed Sister "German Tank") told us a lot of profound things about God and a few of them have stayed with me for life. One of the most important is this: Your life is like one grain of sand. Think about eternity in this way: place your wet hand on a sandy beach and try to imagine how many grains of sand are on your hand. Now think of all the beaches in all the world and all the deserts and all that sand. Your life is just one grain. If you can obey God for your short, little life, you will be rewarded in heaven for EVER. Even more than a desert full of sand. Trusting in Him is not always easy, having faith that His will is PERFECT in all regards is not always easy to remember, but isn't that the point? If God knows all and He truly loves us, doesn't He mean GOOD for us? When we take the blind leap, God ALWAYS rewards us 100 fold, doesn't He? Can't we remember that and thank Him daily, allowing Him to use us any way He wants in order to do His will and bring Him glory?

I've had a few moments of miraculous "coincidences" in my life (haven't we all? Let's face it) and if anyone out there doesn't believe, I will be praying for you tonight and for the rest of my life because I wish heaven for everyone. Seriously, for Kim Jong Il, Hitler and Stalin. I hope to God you three did repent and gave your life over to Him at the end.

Saint Francis of Assisi (I believe it was) was asked once during a game of pool what he would do if he knew he would die the next day and he replied "I would keep on playing pool." What the heck does this mean, you ask? Hey, if you are not ready today, chances are, you will not be ready tomorrow. I watch a lot of medical shows and I am painfully aware of how quickly life can be taken away from any one of us, tonight, tomorrow or the day after. Have you ever known anyone who has died suddenly? Of course you have. We all have. Does the thought of dying scare the crap out of you? I am curiously looking forward to the day I get to go, but I hope the four of us Fays all get wiped out together, like by one big Mack Truck or Armageddon or .... you get the point. I don't want to leave my girls without a Mom. I pray that if death scares you, maybe you should do something about it right this minute.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This is the most comforting thing in my life. No amount of snuggly sheets, comfy slippers, drugs or a bank account full of money could make me feel better than that.

My favorite memory in the world: I was studying for some class behind Sever Hall, looking across at the Philosophy building which has a quote on the side of the building "What is Man that Though Art Mindful of Him." It took me about 5 years of searching to find out the origin of that quote: Psalm 8. And I discovered it while reading a quote from a Rabbi no less. I went to Psalm 8 and became obsessed with this psalm because I have always felt closest to God when I am listening to good music and seeing all of God's great works in nature. So about 5 years ago (I have mentioned this story before on the blog) my friend Noreen and I were camping, looking at the stars and I mentioned Psalm 8, asking her if she had ever read it. I told her the story and later in the evening after a few beers, she asked if I wanted to read her daily reading with her and she opened the page and shook her head in disbelief. Yep, the scripture she had never in her life remembered reading was right there for us to marvel over. Thank you Lord for all these coincidences.

I am looking forward to seeing my Grandma Egan Evrard again, of hearing my Uncle Bill laugh again, of seeing my hand-holding parents again and especially, meeting Jesus face to face. Wow, I can only imagine.

Nope, I'm not obsessed with death today, just thinking some thoughts about being ready and praying all my family and friends are ready too. I hope all of you are ready, wheather I know you or not. The more, the merrier.


Cupcakes and Hairbows said...

You are having some deep thoughts on this NYEve!

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Peggy Ward said...

Hey El, I know I don't inspire you like Dad did, but I too,, REALLY love to read your blog. I love your thoughts, profound many, and silly some. I would miss it LOTS if you didn't occasionally post your musings, cute videos, and wonderful photos of the Fays. As a matter of fact, I would LOVE to see a new photo of Grace as she has probably healed a bit since the last photo. And Frannie, any new missing teeth? I love you all, and hope you will keep posting. xoxox Peggy