Truly, the best Christmas Ever

We have had a blast with lots of friends and not enough family (we stayed home, just the 4 of us, which made it "nice and quiet," but this is a first for all of us). We had a wonderful time on Christmas Eve at the Children's Mass, then the Rucci's house for dinner; a nice morning at home with a visit from our buddies the Conways and then we went to the Michael's for fun and games! God bless!

Such a Great Time of Year

We are having such a great time during all the craziness of this time of year. Despite being sick NON-stop (no joking) for a month and a half, the girls and I have crammed in lots of fun activities and just getting ready to celebrate Jesus' birthday. We are trying VERY hard to stress that to the girls. Despite the non-stop discussion of presents, the girls are learning to focus on the Jesus part, thank God (really).
We got some great pics done with Santa (he was not just one of those elves you see hanging out at the mall, this guy was actually Santa) and he put Gracie right at ease. This pic here is just a hint of the real thing. You will have to wait and get a Christmas card if you want to see the best ones! If I don't have your address, send it to me and I will mail you a great pic of the girls with Santa :)
Frannie and I got to see a wonderful production of the 12 Days of Christmas, a ballet with dancers from 3 years old to about 20. Frannie was in heaven. Grace stayed with her buddy Nancy so that Frannie and I could have a special night at the ballet, what a treat. Our friend's daughter, Alexis, also from China, was so incredibly good, Frannie talked about her for days.
I just finished reading the Mary Beth Chapman book "Choosing to SEE" about the death of their daughter Maria. What an incredible story! Pick it up if you want a good gut-wrenching sob. Thank you Lord for my girls on this day, Amen.

Such is Life

Before we left for Florida, the girls were both in the doctor's office, sick with a virus, strep, but their appetites, strangely, were not affected in the least


GIRLS WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THE DOCTOR

GIRLS PASSING THE TIME BY WATCHING A LITTLE "HORTON HEARS A WHO"

GIRLS STARTING TO FADE

GIRLS AND MOM THINKING OF TAKING A NAP OR SNEAKING OUT THE BACK DOOR


My buddy Donna gave me a website to check out, with a little girl born with a missing thumb, just like Frannie's! Gives us something to think about. The little girl in this blog (click here), Natalie, has a normal looking pointer finger, however. Frannie's ortho doc suggested that Frannie's surgery might not be successful because of the atrophied pointer finger. Her first finger looks about the size of her pinkie. I never felt like she should have surgery, but looking at this blog makes me wonder....

Priceless

I really love Grace's ode to me. Reminds me of an incident on a trip to Italy: my friend and I were visiting Cinque Terra and the owners of the gorgeous seaside restaurant and pensione had two sons and a cat with one missing eye. I asked the younger son what the word is for "eye" in Italian. He said "occio" (sounds like Pinocchio). So I said "What's the cat's name?" and without missing a beat he said "Un occio."

Grace is doing very well with her recovery from surgery. HOWEVER, she does have a newly-discovered HOLE just behind her two front teeth! Her teeth slant backward so it was hard to see, but when I did finally spot it, I realized DANG, that's why she still has chunky food coming out of her nose. Think a custom-sized tube of hot dog would work as a cork? I hate to put her through more surgery so we are considering just taping it up.

What It's All About

I'm so glad that a co-worker convinced me I should not miss this. I considered staying at work, being a good employee, but instead I snuck out of school, smack in the middle of the day, and ran over to Frannie's Thanksgiving celebration.

Sick, sick, sick

All 3 of us have been sick and I'm just so tired. Grace gets up and then I'm wide awake for a few hours and then I start to nod off and I hear Frannie upstairs moving furniture or whatever the heck she does. Sometimes I get up and, no kidding, Frannie has color-coded the plastic hangers in the closet. After today we have a whole week off from school!

Howdy

Just one more cute pic of Grace on Halloween. Kevin is working far too much, the girls have been sick, work has been CRAZY with the Georgia Alternative Assessment being due this week, our play room floor has been transformed to a nice laminate and we've had lots of fun times with friends. We are heading to St. Augustine for Thanksgiving for just a few days, but I look forward to seeing the family. Miss you all. P.S, No, I am not responsible for killing some rabbits to make my girls some fashionable hand-warming muffs (like I had when I was little, sniff, sniff). The girls are holding live rabbits at a Fall Festival petting area. PPS: Today is the Feast Day of Saint Frances Cabrini, God love her!

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You...

Thank you so much, Dear Friends, for sharing this event with us. Can't believe Frannie is 5. Pretty soon she will be going to Kindergarten and immediately getting married and next we will all die...
Frannie dressed up like a fairy, Grace was a ladybug and can you guess my costume?

I love a good miraculous coincidence

After reading a stranger's blog today I was reminded of one of my favorite things in life: receiving a "wink" from God (as my co-worker Sally put it) just for your amazement and as a reminder of who is really in charge around here.

About 4 years ago I was camping with my friend Noreen up in North Georgia, was it Tallulah Falls? I can't remember, but there were falls there. It was right around this time of year and the weather was perfect for camping, chilly, but not cold. We sat around the campfire drinking a few beers, staring at the night sky, watching the stars come out. I could not help but think of Psalm 8, which I then paraphrased to her:

O LORD, our Lord, how awesome is your name through all the earth! You have set your majesty above the heavens! . . . When I see your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and stars that you set in place-- What is man that you are mindful of him, mere mortals that you care for them?

So we started talking about how incredible it is that God even CARES about what each of us is doing. About an hour later Noreen asked if I wanted to do her "Daily Reading" book with her. She opened the little pamphlet-like book and she said something like "You are not &*@$$^^ going to believe this -- guess what Today's reading is?" and I didn't even have to guess.

Tomorrow is Frannie's Birthday party and MAN is she pumped. I'm posting pictures of the girls dressed for daycare in anticipation of the Halloween weekend. Wish Kevin could attend, but every year we run into this same problem (football vs. Frannie's b-day party). Too bad.

My friend Brett

Brett is one of the strongest guys I know. He doesn't lift weights or help me move furniture and compared to our friend Johan, he's not exactly buff. He's endured more than all of us put together, and he keeps on plugging. Insteading of divulging confidential information about my buddy, let me just tell you that he has SUFFERED. Now his Mom has made the decision to get him a trach for his comfort and hopefully for his longevity. This is not an easy surgery so they need lots of prayers on Monday.

Thinking About ...

If you have never seen this movie, do not stop, GO to your local Netflix or Amazon or wherever you can find it. I watched it recently and the memories of my trip to the Holocaust Museum in DC was reawakened. My sister Peg was born in Germany in 1955. As I grew older, it dawned on me how incredibly soon after WWII that was -- a mere decade after the end of the war, my parents actually lived there. I'm planning a trip to the school depicted in this movie, it's only a couple hours from us and I want to see if or myself.

*phew* Frannie's birthday is fast approaching and her dreams are about to come true -- she is getting a treasure chest full of princess accessories and dresses and she doesn't know it so don't tell her! She is going to faint from the sheer excitement of it all.

Have I Scarred Them for Life?

We took a fun trip yesterday to our local Pumpkin Patch and I pray the girls do not suffer some life-long side effects from it. First it was the gi-normous blow up spider that greeted us the second we stepped through the gate that inexplicably moved its head in a random fashion that made him look alive. Secondly, like out of some Watsonian nightmare, the girls both about pooped their pants because of the guy in the gorilla mask lurking around all the kids (see Exhibit D above -- pictured just above Frannie's head)). The pictures of Grace, I hate to admit it, give me a nervous smile because she was petrified of the guy and spent the entire 34 minutes looking over her shoulder for the gorilla guy and begging to be held. We got the heck out of there after purchasing 3 tiny pumpkins and one positively reinforcing pony ride (at least I pray it served as a positive association with all things Fall/Halloween/Pumpkiny). Yikes.

Miss My Husband

Kevin is working baseball playoffs and I miss him a lot. He has traveled for work since the day I met him, but I don't think I will ever get used to it. I want you home now!

Just Us Girls

Frannie, Grace and I will be solo for the next week or so while Kevin stays at the RITZ CARLTON Philly. We promise to finish the leftover rice and beans you left us Honey, really. We don't have time to go out and eat or shop while you are gone anyway, we worked on sewing up the holes in our socks and the girls did a real nice job delivering the newspapers the other morning ... we are just so happy you are having fun eating cheesesteaks and drinking with your buddies between exciting ball games.

Grace has been improving by leaps and bounds this week. The hole (or fistula) in her palate looks smaller to me and she hasn't complained about any pain at all in days. She went back to daycare today for the first time in 3 weeks with no problems. Thank God for her buddy Miss Alicia.

One of my Favorites

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Therese of Lisieux, one of my favorites, mostly because of her book. She is a great example of someone very much in love with Jesus, but so human too. I loved reading how she was so annoyed by the noises one of the nuns made during rosary. I felt so close to her after hearing that! See below:

Patron of the Missions
1873 - 1897

Generations of Catholics have admired this young saint, called her the "Little Flower", and found in her short life more inspiration for own lives than in volumes by theologians.

Yet Therese died when she was 24, after having lived as cloistered Carmelite for less than ten years. She never went on missions, never founded a religious order, never performed great works. The only book of hers, published after her death, was an brief edited version of her journal called "Story of a Soul." (Collections of her letters and restored versions of her journals have been published recently.) But within 28 years of her death, the public demand was so great that she was canonized

Back Home from Hos-Tipple

Frannie talks a lot about Grace going to the HOS-TIPPLE so now she's got US mis-pronouncing it. Last week I worked 11 and 12 hour days at school and said I was going to take Grace to the doc if her neck did not improve, which it did not. The doc sent us to have an x-ray in case. X-ray sent us to have a CAT scan at the ER at Scottish Rite. The ER doc called the plastic surgeon who worked on Grace's palate who was on the floor coincidentally. We had been withholding food and meds and juice from her since noon in case she needed to be sedated for the CAT scan. By the time we saw the doctors, it was 6pm and Grace was crying HARD and grabbing the back of her head. Hmmm. Dr. Williams, the plastic surgeon, was so, so nice and explained how the throat sutures would cause her to hold her head stiff like a stiff neck, but since little kids RARELY get herniations in their necks, the likliest explanation is just plain ole pain from the surgery. In the meantime, he could see the agony she was enduring and decided that keeping an eye on her for a day or two in the hostipple was the best solution while giving her enough morphene to make her smile for the first time in 9 days. It worked. She ate like her normal self and slept well. We were discharged yesterday morning. She seems to be doing well today, even without the morphene. We are sticking to Lortab and Motrin and we will slowly wean her off that this week. My little Brett (my friend and student) was in the ICU so I got to see him and spend some time with him and Lisa. Thank you so much Lisa for your friendship. Just when I need a buddy, you happen to be right there to hold my hand. We love you both so much.

Later in the day I got to have dinner with my Digit Friends, one of whom, Donna (like I need to introduce Donna, come on...), far left, is going back to China again for daughter number 3! So excited for the Straight family. So good to spend some time with Donna, Lucy and Darcy and have a few laughs. And good Chinese food to boot.

We Just Missed Our Nurses and Doctors

Grace and I are at Scottish Rite, just visiting. And sleeping here and eating here. And getting lots of meds here to stop the blasted pain that Grace has had to endure! There's news, but I don't have time to post about that. She has a new hole in the roof of her mouth, but we believe the p-flap is intact.

Back to Work Despite the Pain

Grace's neck is a bit better. We all got haircuts yesterday (picture forthcoming) and Los Hermanos ALWAYS works to cheer us up (our FAVORITE Mexican Restaurant, not to be confused by The Brothers, a Mexican band). I'm trying to cram 32 hours into 3 days of work, so I don't have to use sick time this week. Be careful what you ask for, I'm swamped.

We are juggling appointments (well, it's all Kevin doing the appointments, really), school pick up and drop off for Frannie, keeping track of all Grace's meds and whims (I want an egg NOW -- wish she could actually say that, but.... she has culinary wants and needs this week which do not always align with our current refrigerator stockage). In the meantime, I'm at work and Kevin is bonding more and more with Grace. She could use some manly bonding time. All we seem to do is paint our nails and style our hair. Dad can teach her how to read the sports page and how to load a gun. Just KIDDING!

Is this a joke?

Grace had a very strange day. Started off with lots of pain (she sweats like a fiend and has no temperature, gets shaky and cranky) and she had a BIG meltdown about 11:00. Put her to bed and she was crying out loud in her sleep. She's been turning her head like she has whiplash, but with no temp and no sign of blood, I didn't know how much to freak out. Spoke with the PA again from the plastic surgeon's office and she called in some more pain meds and recommended Motrin for the probably neck swelling from the position they put her in during surgery. We will see the doctor tomorrow. After the Motrin, she was like a different kid. Kevin is home now for 4 plus straight days, thanks be to GOD.

Never a Dull Moment

We had a little scare today when Grace kept picking at her ear, picking, picking and telling me her mouth hurt for the first time. After eating a chocolate pudding, she had a trickle of chocolate come out of her nose and I almost burst into tears. THAT is NOT a good sign. After picking at the ear for the 20th time a big black chunk came out, a dried blood clod, I guess and she stopped complaining. I called the plastic surgeon's waiting service and asked for a call back. The PA called and said that if the palate has opened up again, there's nothing they can do about it now anyway. Oy. I'm so nervous. I tried to look and could not see much, but it all looks healthy and sewn shut to me. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe she had that pudding in there since Tuesday and she was holding on to it. Nothing I can do about it except keep all sharp objects away from her. Breaks your heart when you think of the pain. Who is the patron saint of cleft palates? Saint ____________, Patron Saint of Cleft Palates, pray for us.

Going Home, Yeah!

She had a great night. We slept a lot (and I felt the prayers, thanks). Doctor is sending us home this morning! Frannie can have a fun overnight with her buddy Mary Pat, but I can't wait to see her! Grace tells me she wants to stay here. Sure

Honestly,

God GIVE ME PATIENCE. I had patience until about an hour ago. I want to go sleep upstairs somewhere and just let her neighbors hear the wrath. Ay carumba. It's not like any of the crying makes a whole lot of sense. She wants the light on, NO! LIGHT OFF! She kept yelling something like ya ya! ya ya! and I wanted to scream I don't know what the hell ya ya is! But I refrained. I let her cry and I regained a little sanity and tried to redirect her from whatever ya ya was. Oy vey I want to sleep. I pray we can go home tomorrow. We are both tired of this small room. She just got her 9 o'clock Lortab so I'm praying she will crash for a long time. Pray

Grace is just a little testy

She only went to sleep at 2:00 for a nap. We were both pretty wiped out, but she slept solid for 3 hours, hooray! She wavers with her moods, depending on when she's received her meds. I was trying to not upset her last night, responding to every whimper and today I knew I would NEVER get any sleep at all if I didn't just walk away and lay down in my own bed. That really ticked her off and she obviously wants me at her side to fetch her robe or feather fan, but I just waved at her and told her "I'm right here. We have to sleep, I'm right here." and she finally gave up and passed out. Tonight we both need our sleep so crying or not, I'm lying down!

Grace is still a trooper, however....

5:30 am and Grace has been crying or whimpering pretty much all night. Think we need to re-evaluate pain management. Personally I think she is hungry and her hernia sutures are the parts that are bothering her the most. I pray the doctor has early morning rounds. Grace let me sleep from 1:30 to 3:15 and has been miserable ever since. I could be way off base, but I'm willing to bet her nurse is not a Mom. You can just tell. She's not mean or anything, but Grace's obvious pain would affect any Mom and this woman just doesn't get it. She KNEW she had a lot of pain and when I asked for her morphene in between yelps, she later told me she gave her "the lower end" of her alloted dosage. Thanks a bunch. An hour later and she is still wailing in pain. Is the other part of the dose coming out of your paycheck? Standing at the nurse's station, I couldn't help but hark to Shirley Maclaine in Terms of Endearment when she screamed "GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOTTTTTT!!!!!!!"

Grace should get the trumpet out of her nose this morning too which will help. She's been whimpering for Daddy too so his appearance will help I'm sure. Given my throbbing cold sore and my lack of sleep, let's hope I don't start to resemble Woogie in the next day or so...

She's All Done

Dr. Williams just came to give me the update. No room # yet, but she will be in recovery for about an hour. He said all went well. She now has a pharyngeal flap (didn't the Wiggles sing a song about that?) and I'm nauseous about her waking up alone in pain. Kevin went to get Frannie at school and they are coming back here in a while. Watching a movie and trying not to vomit while I wait. It's not quite that bad, but I do feel sick to my stomach.

UPDATE AT 7:00 PM. Grace is such a trooper. She's sleeping mostly and complaining very little. She hates the arm splints -- if it weren't for them I'm sure she'd have pulled her trumpet tube out of her nose by now. The doctor will remove it in the morning. Frannie and Kevin just left so we are watching Praise Baby.

Grace is in Surgery

We sent her back about 10 minutes ago, praying with her and holding her little floppy hand. She was so loopy from the drugs, but smiling. The estimated time in the OR is 3 hours, given the 3 surgeons involved, working on her ear tubes, hernia and palate. Update later.

Then and Now

We've had Grace in our hands for one year today! One year ago she was a bit stinky, very, very tired, kinda bald, skinny and a fashion disaster.



Some big differences in Grace's life: she is not forced to wear navy tights with pink pjs when it's 110 degrees out, she has hair on the back of her head, she can drink through a straw now and she gets to have Kevin as a Daddy!

Night and Day

Frannie and Grace are so different -- I mean truly. Frannie is so prissy with her shoe fetish and her obsession with princesses and looking good and sparkly STUFF. Grace, however, laughs at the absurd, a dirty face and people falling down. Grace also loves babies so much, I think she feels she's ready to be a Mom. She spent half the time in Mass yesterday putting a diaper on her baby doll. She wiped that baby's behind with the equivalent of 14 baby wipes, ensuring a proper diaper change. Today at the doctor's office we found a book with a picture of a crib and when you lift the crib flap, there's a baby shown in the crib. She stared and stared and pointed and talked about that baby. What's so funny is that she went to another picture on the same page with a flap showing a blanket and she gently took that blanket (pretend) in her hand and gently placed it on the baby in the crib. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye for approval and we laughed and laughed. What a KooK! I think I need to get her a new baby doll for the hospital stay. I need to find one with a whole kit of babydoll-sized diapers and bottles and binkies. Anyone out there need a babysitter, Grace will sign up. PS We were at the doctor today because Grace's cough seemed to be worse to me so I wanted him to check out her throat for strep and to listen to her breathing. She's fine!

Patriot's Day!

The girls were supposed to wear red to school today, so why not celebrate the Red Sox AND wear red, white and blue for Patriot's Day too? Kevin is working in the Swamp this weekend and flying right up to NY for his Father's funeral. We agreed that the 3 Fay girls should stay home to keep Grace healthy for the surgery. She had her last pre-op appointment this morning and they checked out the potatoes she's been growing in her ear canals. It's so counterintuitive to leave that junk in there. I want to waterpik it out. I know, I know!

Tomorrow brings Ringling Brothers to town and we are going! Can't wait to see the girls' reactions.

We will be praying for all the Fays this weekend. Wish we could be there to hug everyone. Thanks to my Oakland family for all the nice cards and the gorgeous plant. I'm overcome with gratitude for such wonderful and thoughtful co-workers.

Tell Fran We Love Her

Kevin lost his Dad yesterday, peacefully. Kevin spent the night in the room with him and stepped out for a few minutes when he passed away. I have heard from hospice workers that dying people truly WAIT for their loved ones to leave the room before they pass. My prayers for all Jim's sons are for peace and for good thoughts about their parents being together again at last. I am sure St. Peter had a smile on his face and saluted him saying "James Aloysius, come on in!"

Busy Week

Kevin left this morning for NY to visit his father who is very, very ill. Last update I heard was that the mass they saw on the scan is a brain tumor and since he is 89 years old, the family (mostly Kevin's brother Tom who has taken a huge part of the burden on by himself due to his close geographical proximity to his Dad) decided that pain management is the wisest course of action. He's not doing well at all. I'm so glad Kevin planned this visit before things got too bleak. Pray for all of them because we all know it's never easy to watch your parent suffer.



The girls have multiple, multiple appointments this week, leading up to Grace's surgery and I may lose my mind, trying to keep up with my daily to-do list. Three pre-op appointments, three speech therapy appointments, two dentist appointments, one dematology appointment and one audiology appointment! No kidding! Not to mention school for me and the girls.

Wish I Had Videotaped This....

The girls were giggling so hard, riding around the circle, down the hall, through the kitchen, living room, back through the hall, around again, almost crashing into the couch, the wall, etc. They were hysterically laughing which ALWAYS makes you forget all your troubles

This is What we Do for Fun

Kevin and I are trying to keep our houses in good working order and updated. With the current economy looming over us, we feel very fortunate to currently have good tenants and we are also fortunate to have the ability to fix a lot of the problems ourselves. Not everything, but a good number of the chores fall within our realm of experience (or guesswork). Like in some weird Walter Mitty fashion I sometimes find myself fantasizing about finding high end tile on the clearance rack or walking past an Empire desk in the garbage which would work perfectly as a sink somewhere. These pics are the Before and After shots of the condo, where I spent a huge part of my July. Just in case you were wondering why our girls barely knew us at the end of the summer . . . .