Gotcha Day Two Years Ago!

We met our beautiful daughter two years ago today. She cried for Daddy, but surely not for Mamma. What a joy.

Hi, my name is Ellen

My name is Ellen and I am addicted to.....

computer games. I've tried to quit, Man, but ever since my friend Laura got me addicted to PacMan at the St. Augustine mall back in 1982, my brain craves Spider Solitaire or Freecell or Bejeweled. I was so annoyed, frustrated and sad last night, waiting for news from China that I fantasized about calling in sick to work today and just playing Taipei all day long. To heck with the consequences!!! I'm tired and I want some selfish time alone!

Okay, here are some pictures of Frannie helping me make Grace's birthday cake and making panels for her shelving unit in her room. Frannie was so incredibly excited to work on this art project. You can't see it, but the butterfly's wings are lined in sparkly glitter, you'd have thought Frannie died and went to heaven. She was squealing!

PS, Yes, that is Frannie's very own Home Depot apron. Maybe one day I will get to wear one too

*sigh*

We ordered a cake to be delivered to Grace on her birthday so I have been anxiously waiting to receive the pictures, which count as proof of delivery. So this morning I got a message from the woman who was responsible for delivering the cake for me, informing me that the orphanage Director had no digital camera so they just went out and bought disposable cameras, to be given to us on Gotcha Day. So, no pictures of Grace today, ugh.

One more Baby Step

I completely understand when people continually ask me "when are you going?" and it does drive me a little nuts because I keep telling those who don't understand the world of adoption that we just don't know. Today, we are one BABY step closer which is the approval of our Article 5 and the delivery of our package to Beijing. This only means that we have to wait for Travel Approval -- statistics are showing that it could take anywhere from 6 days (one woman's speedy time on Rumor Queen) or up to 46 days (another lady's unfortunate wait), but the average is 23 days, according to the infamous Rumor Queen. My friend Katy had to wait 27 days for the Travel Approval.

Because Kevin is not able to travel with me, it worked out that my friend Nancy COULD go with me. I am fortunate enough to have her, along with Frannie on this journey. I have been so anxious about going without Kevin, about getting on a small little building on wheels, in such confined quarters, with so little oxygen and so many other people breathing MY OXYGEN, OMG, wait a minute, I have to go find a paper bag to breathe into for a second....

Okay, I'm back. Nancy is very calm and relaxing which is just what the doctor ordered. Anyone out there have any spare valium for me? I'm kidding. I need prayers, as you have probably surmised.

Did you Know About this?

Northwest Airlines Special DeliverySM
Significant fare discounts for international adoptions.

Now they can fly right into your arms.
Northwest Airlines and KLM Royal Dutch Airlines want to help you and your new family member off to a flying start. Special DeliverySM fares are available to families adopting children from any of our over 100 international destinations throughout Asia, Africa, Europe, India and the Middle East.

Special Delivery fares make it easier to bring your son or daughter home.

We've designed Special Delivery to meet an adopting family's unique needs:

Low fares with great flexibility, No advanced purchase required........ etc., etc.,

One-Way Adoptee Fare: For adopted children two years of age or older OR infants under two years of age occupying a seat: 65% off full adult Y fare or 50% off full adult J fare, provided the parents are traveling on a Special Delivery ticket. For infants not occupying a seat: Special adoption discount is not available. Passenger is advised to pay 10% of lowest applicable published fare per the published fare rule.

I called yesterday about this and it doesn't look very hopeful with the new NW and Delta merger. Delta has been nixing these specials on Delta/NW combo flights. Ugh

There's Always a Reason -- I'm serious

I do get uptight when things don't go my way, quickly enough or quietly enough or nicely enough, but I always look back and say "Okay, God was looking out for me, I admit it." So I admit I have complained a little bit about being the FIRST to start the adoption process (for the 2nd adoption, that is) out of all my friends, but the LAST to go back. I checked the weather in Grace's province this week and found out the heat will feel like 124 degrees this week -- a typhoon just hit the Guangzhou area and an earthquake hit the Tokyo area. My buddy Darcy just got back from Guangzhou by way of Tokyo (yikes) and Katy is getting ready to go. I could NEVER handle that much heat or humidity and of course, typhoons and earthquakes are not my favorite either. I'll travel in September, thanks. One woman on Rumor Queen got her TA a mere 7 days after her Article 5 was issued -- who does SHE KNOW? That sure would be exciting if we could somehow make that happen :)

Chongqing Population

I just looked this up on Bing.com. It's hard for me to conceive! When we were in Beijing, I thought THAT PLACE was mobbed. We are about to travel to the MOST populous city in China (and I'm willing to bet most of you have never heard of it)!

These are the stats from a few years ago:

1 Chongqing 15,300,000
2 Shanghai 13,100,000
3 Beijing 12,200,000
4 Chengdu 9,900,000
5 Harbin 9,200,000
6 Tianjin 9,000,000
7 Shijiazhuang 8,600,000
8 Wuhan 7,200,000
9 Qingdao 7,000,000
10 Changchun 6,800,000
11 Guangzhou 6,700,000
12 Hong Kong 6,700,000

Remember little Frannie?

This one cracks me up

This is a True Story

About 7 years ago I went to Jamaica to work at the Mustard Seed Communities for my summer break from school. Let's just say I am spoiled, I hate the heat and I'm not quite as humble and giving as I thought. But that is not the point. I wanted to pray the rosary and read scripture every night before I went to bed and one night I was wiped out and thought to myself "I want to skip reading the Bible night." A wise Bible instructor taught me once that "The Bad Guy" likes to tempt you most away from church or scripture on days when he knows you will benefit the most. So instead of skipping my Bible reading that night I thought to myself "Get behind me Satan. Lord, show me something I need to hear" and I opened the book to John 21. This is the passage when Jesus has been resurrected and he returns to Peter and asks him 3 times "Peter, do you love me?" and each time Peter says "You know I do Lord" and Jesus responds to him, 3 times "Feed my lambs," "Tend my sheep" and "Feed my sheep." The very next night I asked God to reveal something else important to me, something I needed to hear and I opened the Bible randomly to John 21. Okay, so maybe I had folded the book open firmly the night before and it wanted to fall there, but I had other bookmarks in the book and it fell right on John 21 again. This was a Friday night. I smiled and laughed a nervous giggle and thought "Alrighty then. Guess I'm supposed to read this." Two days later, we took the kids in wheelchairs down the hill and up the stairs to attend Mass, as was the custom. We sat there swatting flies from the kids' faces, sung all the great uplifting songs and watched all the locals praise God in such a beautiful way (the Catholics in Jamaica have no problem dancing and singing real loud for the Lord). When the gospel was announced -- I am serious as a heart attack -- it was John 21. You have to know one thing: I am a special ed teacher working with kids who have severe and profound disabilities. I am not the most creative or the best teacher at school, but I KNOW God wanted to me work with these kids. No question in my mind. So as I sat, surrounded by these familiar kids in wheelchairs and the priest steps up to start his homily, I am crying almost audibly, most definitely visibly and he says "Who does Jesus mean by sheep or lambs? These kids here that sit in the back of my church! The most innocent ones in Jesus' flock!" He also goes on to state Jesus means (to the disciples), ALL his children, but it blew me away.

I had a hard time this week with lots of distractions and burdens to carry, but God reminded me TWICE of this event. I called my dear Sister Peg to pray with me yesterday and her words are always so wise and perfect. She got me crying and crying, reminding me again that when I am down, God is reminding me to lean on him and not to get distracted by daily woes. Well, Frannie and I went to Mass this morning (Kevin is in San Fran for a game) and the seminarian who was with our parish for the summer spoke for a few minutes and told us that while praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament a few years ago, God revealed John 21 to him which is what helped make his decision to become a priest. He also went on to talk about all he learned at St. John Neumann this summer and he was especially grateful to spend 5 days in Jamaica with fellow missionaries from our parish, working with the poor.

God is so good. Thanks for reminding me of that summer and how much I need to hand it over to you.

Summer Fun with the Godparents

How can it get any crazier

Highlights of the week:
1. Renovating our condo while tenant is away
2. Frannie in daycare all week.
3. Offer made on our house in Tucker -- not a great offer so we counter-offered.
4. Somewhere between the US and China, our Visa was lost
5. I had a dr's appointment for my crazy thyroid and I've learned a true "magic pill" does not exist. Dang it!
6. My hands are blistered, my back is aching and I think I'm still feeling the ole' fiberglass itching.
7. Frannie is cute as ever and I looooove it when she laughs hard.
8. I'm packing Gracie's bag regardless of that dang Visa crap.
9. Darcy is back from China with Baby Michael, yahoo!
10. Donna comes to the rescue as usual.
11. School starts next Monday -- oooops, I mean Wednesday, thanks to Governor Sonny. (we were ordered to take 2 days without pay to save him money for Cash for Clunkers or Government Ketchup testers or some other vitally important program)
12. God is good and despite all my whining, I am happy to have a baby on the way, a good husband, lots of real estate, a back that still works and food on the table (too much, I know).

Dad Gum it!

My friend Lucy told me about a recent article in the NY Times about a woman and her family traveling to China to adopt a special needs child. Nice, right? Read the comments at the bottom:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/02/bringing-home-an-adopted-girl-with-special-needs/

If people ask me about Frannie, where she came from, why we chose China, etc., I am usually thinking "educate them, don't be annoyed" but occasionally I want to slowly and methodically pull people's teeth out with a pair of pliers. How cynical do you have to be to give this woman THIS MUCH hassle?

Personally, we adopted from China because I have had female problems in the past. Personal enough for ya? Want to know a lot of details about that? We chose China and NOT the US because it might have been the END of me if a birth Mom changed her mind in the delivery room. Is that reason okay with you? We chose special needs because Frannie's missing thumb is not a big deal and YES, we felt horrible looking over the list of children and thinking "nope, that disability would be too hard -- nope not that one, no, not that one...." it felt HORRIBLE to mentally reject these kids. But God had a reason. Gracie will not be quite as EASY as Frannie. She will grieve horribly for the foster family she had in China who loved her since birth. She will require palate surgery and she will require a lot of speech therapy. Choosing a child from a list is a very strange and HORRIBLE feeling. I know God has a plan, but this just doesn't feel NATURAL. Well, we prayed about it and if a proffered child "didn't feel right," we passed that child's file back. Does that sound horrible to anyone? Wish we could have done it the NORMAL way sometimes, but we wouldn't have gotten Frannie that way. Wish I could have all those labor and pregnancy discussion with my girlfriends and sisters, but in the end, I get to keep Frannie and Grace which is better than any biological child I can imagine.

Hey, it's summer-time and I have time to rant and read long articles and feel sad about my Mom never meeting Grace. I am frivolously making a mosaic for my mailbox (and feeling very stoned from the glue) and enjoying our swim and play dates with friends. That's all I've got to say about that!

Estimated Departure

For those of you who are not in the adoption circle, we are waiting for our Travel Approval (TA) from China then quickly after that we will ask for a Consulate Appointment (CA) at the US Consulate in Guangzhou. Our hope is to receive our TA in the beginning of August (let's say August 10) then we will ask for an appointment for August 26 which would make our departure date August 13. That is our HOPE, but many other waiting families have not received their TAs this quickly.

Some pictures of Frannie Fay's Summer Fun.

800 approval

Our 800 approval is on the way! Yahoo!!!! I bought a return package via the US mail and have been tracking its whereabouts for a week. Every day I got on to the USPS website and it tells me it is unknown. This morning it said it left Missouri! It feels great to check these things off our list. God is good.

What goes on in China is....

I don't really understand a LOT about what goes on in the paperwork world of adoption, we can only guess from former adoptions we hear about, blogs of people who are there now and the infamous Rumor Queen. Right now there is a wait for Travel Approval which is our "next step." Although I have not officially received my 800 approval from the US immigration, I expect it this week (did I just jinx myself by saying that?). Some people have been quarantined in China because of the swine flu scare. Even if a person sitting near you on your flight has come down with a fever with suspected swine flu, people in white suits may show up at your hotel and take you into custody. I'm not kidding. The reason my friend Darcy decided to travel to China by herself to get her little Michael was because she heard a (rumor?) story that an American child was taken from his/her parents and hospitalized without the parents being allowed to stay with the toddler or see him/her. I believe I would adopt from China again if money were no object -- oh wait a minute -- the paperwork, immigration requirements and expiration limitations would probably kill me and I think my family needs me too much to take that chance. Never mind. My cousin Judy's daughter Meghan and her husband are adopting a little girl who is due in August, please pray for a smooth and healthy adoption there! I'm not sure if she is craving as much junk food as I am while waiting for our girls, but I know I could eat about 1/2 dozen ice cream sandwiches every night.

Just curious

I changed my settings to allow ANONYMOUS comments. If you read this, could you please leave me a comment, even if it's just a quick "Hi, it's Patti W" (tee hee)? Thanks, Ellen

It's a God Thing

People who do not believe in God amaze me. I'm not sure I understand the thought process AT ALL. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't understand murderers, child beaters or liberals either, but have I been given some sort of different glasses, allowing me to see God all over, and atheists just can't see it somehow? How is it possible to fall in love with a child you have never met? Not just because you live in a dream world, but you truly feel that Red Thread connection. Of the billion children born in China, God picked these two girls for us. No other. How can someone not believe this child was destined to live in Lilburn Georgia, that she fits in so perfectly, not by conforming to her environment, but because she could not be more mine than a child my genes helped to create. Anyone who believes that any child "would do" or that you love that child simply because you gave birth to them and God has nothing to do with it is living in another world from me. Lauren H. got me thinking about this when she talked about "what if we had gotten Frannie and the Fay's had gotten Ally?" Would not have happened Lauren. God had it planned perfectly. Can't wait to lay my hands on little Grace Xuejing. We are praying for a miracle August 10 or so departure.

Go Sox

Make a Smilebox slideshow

We had a great time at the game yesterday -- other than the heat, it was great. Kevin had gotten us the only tickets available the other day, which were pretty bad seats, but I wanted to see the Sox regardless. On our way to the game he called to tell me he had been offered a friend's season tickets, right behind home -- look at Frannie's picture and see how close we were! It was by far the best seats I've ever had at any game. My cousin treated us to $100 bleacher seats in Fenway two summers ago which were HORRIBLE seats and yesterday I paid $0 for the best ones I've EVER had. Go figure. Thanks Fast Eddie.

Yeah!

We finally got our LOA -- at least we are being mailed the LOA via overnight mail and it will be signed and shipped to the NBC tomorrow. Pray for a quick turnover!

Frannie and I had a fun time in Charlotte with the Nansons. We loved getting to know Lizzie and Lynne herself is just naturally funny so the mundane of daily life is usually fun with her around. Yesterday morning we headed over to a park to feed the ducks and ended up running for our lives. Personally I am accustomed to ducks that are so full from all the daily snacks they are given by the kids that they barely look your way when you approach them with bread. Apparently these ducks had been fasting until that very second when we arrived. Frannie and I balled up the bits of bread and began to throw them toward the ducks and suddenly a huge flock was surrounding us, along with a number of geese, one of which marched toward us fast, drooling and Lynne swears he was bearing fangs and hissing. I did not want to scare Frannie, but after slowly backing up and the aggressive duck continued, we all yelled "RUN!" and bolted for the car. I think I knocked Frannie out of the way trying to flee (and I'm pretty sure I wet my pants from laughing). Oy, those are the good times. Love you Lynne.

Our estimate for travel to China is getting more easy to pinpoint now. I don't want to speculate, but it would be good to get over there before Labor Day?

Guess What I got?

I got my new minivan! We shopped and shopped and shopped and we were told on Friday that we would NEVER find the 2005 for the price we wanted to pay unless there was something really WRONG with it. Well, we found a 2006 with only 43,000 miles for the price we wanted to pay! The Toyota dealership checked it out for us, give it the thumbs up and we are soooo excited!

This morning we are heading out to Chattanooga for a weekend trip to see the Lookouts and go to the aquarium tomorrow. And to look at the dirt we own nearby :)

Today is Day 101

We have been officially Logged in for 101 days. Not much I can do except pester my agency which is not my style (wait, zoom back about 2 years when I almost punched my agency rep over the phone out of frustration and hormones), but have been told recently that our file is "Out of the Review Room" which means we might get the LOA next week (or so). For those Chinese adoption novices out there, it means we will probably not be going to China until August or September. Not exactly convenient for a teacher or for a cameraman who works SEC football, among other sports.

My family is doing fairly well since my Mom's funeral. Thanks to everyone for all the calls and the nice cards and flowers. We all know we are going to die and we also know our parents will probably go first, but when it happens, there are no words except "this stinks." It was her time and she is in heaven (or purgatory for a while, who knows what kind of trouble she got into when we weren't looking) and we will have some great laughs some day.

Frannie is wearing some shorts I bought from Target almost TWO YEARS AGO and they are a size SIX MONTHS. Repeat: SIX MONTHS. She was walking like Frankenstein, but she got her bum bum into them! Can you believe it!?? She also likes her bike helmut just a little bit.

My Mom

Well, today I lost my Mom and more than anything, I am grateful to know I will see her again one day. I don't know how non-believers do it. I am sad, but mostly for my Dad who lost his best friend of almost 57 years. Since they dated for 5 years before that it's actually 62 years. He must feel like he lost his right side. My Mom lost her Mother when she was only 3 so I can't help but think of the two of them, together at last. And her Dad too, but mostly her Mom.

The other day when I posted that we were leaving for Florida, we never actually left due to some .... complications. We are still in Lilburn and will be leaving for Florida on Saturday for the Tuesday funeral. Kevin and I went to Mass this morning and prayed mostly for my Dad. Kevin reminded me of some of the crazy and funny things my Mom used to say like "OAFRAH Whinfrey" instead of Oprah and ROCK-CHESTER NY and it got me smiling -- she was so Ethel Mertz, it's not even funny. My Mom taught me endurance when your marriage is not fun, she gave me a love for special needs people, a great love of food (ha ha!!!!), strong-willed opinions (if they don't like it, TOUGH CRAP!!!), shared ditzy moments, loyalty and too many other memories and characteristics to mention. I have no regrets when it comes to my Mom, we said and did all we needed to say and do for each other and the last words we said to each other is I LOVE YOU and we meant it, which is the best I can ask for. Say Hi to Jesus for me.

We are going to Florida today

My Mom is still in hospice, alive, but apparently, not for long. I got a call from my sister yesterday that my Mom is not only hanging on, but she is probably aware of those around her. I have to go down so we are packing up now. Luckily we have my dear cousin who is going to put us up at her house for the week and my dear friend Laura who is willing to help in whatever way we need for childcare, rides, whatever. Thanks be to God. Today marks the 25th anniversary of my grandmother's death (my Father's Mom who died on the morning of my high school graduation). Not sure I want her to pass today -- my poor Dad would have lost the 2 most important women in his life on the same day. Egad. I'll post later.

Ecclesiastes

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,2).

My cousin Judy was pregnant with Meghan when my Grandmother died. She wanted so much for our Gramma to meet her daughter, but it never happened. At the time I could not help but think that the cycle of life is just like that -- one dies and one is born. Ours is not to reason why....

Now we sit here waiting for Gracie and my Mom is literally on her deathbed in hospice. Gracie will also wear the baptismal gown that Frannie wore which was lovingly made from my Mom's wedding gown. A basic buddist tenant states that once we accept the suffering in life, we can find peace. God's will is not just good, it is PERFECT.

"Even when in our time we may not understand how a particular event can be purposeful or beautiful, we can have faith that if it occurs in God’s time for it, it is.....For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8)

End of School, Selling the House and Waiting, Waiting WAITING for LOA

We have had the Tucker house for 8 years (it was my house when I met Kevin) and have been renting it out, but we are finally ready to sell the thing and make a few pennies. Our friends have been living in the house and helping us tremendously with the fix-ups. Johan is a jack of all trades and his work is impeccable.

I have one more "school day" until the kids are finished and 3 more work days until I can officially say I'm off for the summer. I am going to be praying hard for all of my students during the summer. God bless Lisa and Brett.

LOA, LOA, LOA. Who out there can make up a blues song about waiting for an LOA. If anyone has any ideas, let me know and I will see if we can compose something funny to help ease our wait.

Hi

I like this picture (it's old) because it looks like Frannie is saying "Oooooh" and Jacob is saying "Aaahhhhh." Funny. That little Jacob cracks me up.







We are now at 65 days being logged in. Where are those LOAs? Are they actually holding up LOAs because of the swine flu too? I will post the updated pictures of Gracie's room this weekend - paint on the wall, check, crib, check, dresser, check. I'm making a bright mermaid theme. I found some towels I like with little "Olive" mermaids on them which is my favorite so I'm making Gracie a mermaid doll which hopefully won't freak her out (like the alligator freaked out Frannie in the orphanage).

Fifty Seven Days

Not so bad, in terms of waiting for an LOA, but it would be nice to set speed records in our paperchase to China. People always ask "When are you going?" and if they only knew how frustrating that question is! I don't know!!!! Quit asking!!! Just kidding. But to answer this question accurately requires a crystal ball, a secret agent working for you in the US Immigration Department, a foreign agent in the Department of Chinese Adoption Affairs, etc., etc. "We are going sometime between now and Christmas. Have a nice day."

Waaaaay too many projects, no time

Kevin and I are both guilty of starting home improvement projects out of sheer excitement and getting in over our heads. Clutter bothers both of us after a while, yet we like the outcome so we tend to have a minimum of 2 simultaneous projects going, ALWAYS. We do finish them, eventually, but it's hard in the meantime. I believe the state of our current house might have come easier if we had just knocked the house down to start with and began with our own ideas.

We had our handy guy Terry come in a few months ago to put up walls in the basement and get all the wiring, hvac ready for "Frannie's Funhouse" and we basically did the rest. See below. Next project: Gracie's room (this is a picture taken this morning -- I hope it looks better in a month).

Life is Not Always Easy

It's so sad to watch your parents get old, isn't it? We are going to Florida this Thursday to visit and I haven't seen them since ... Thanksgiving? but the stories about my Mom's decline is so sad. She is in a nursing home in St. Augustine where my Dad visits her every day, but she is so confused and scared, it's so sad. I can't wait to bring Frannie to her to cheer her up. We got a special bound book for the grandparents for a Christmas gift, but I think I need to give it to her now so she can look at it every day. I went to "mypublisher.com" and found a great deal to download photos and have a gorgeous printed book made with all the best of the Frannie pictures. Pray for both my Mom and Dad as they go through this difficult time.

Happy Easter

Frannie and I had a quiet Easter, going to Mass early with the Godparents while Kevin went to work a Braves game. She looks so huge compared to last year!

My Mom has had health problems for years, having had a minor stroke before and a couple of "minor" heart attacks, but this week, she had both. We are not sure yet how minor this stroke is, but this morning she was not sounding too good, so please keep them in your prayers. My parents have been married for 56 years and my Dad probably needs the most prayers right now.